Ah, Helvetica, that typeface, that subject of idle modernist worship, the most generic thing to ever elicit such strong emotional responses. Typographic tofu! All heil Max Miedinger! Pray towards Switzerland! Thank you, Helvetica!

Then came Helvetica Neue, son of Helvetica, the sequel to the first go-round. Wider characters! Generously spaced! More weights! And the modernists rejoiced.

But, a small snafoo. You’re saying Neue wrong. And I was too until about 3 hours ago. Sorry, fellow silly Americans. It’s not “Helvetica New,” it’s “Helvetica Noy-uh.” It’s OK. We can all cry together.

If you are German and I have somehow butchered your language, please let me know. For this, I am sorry.